Friday, May 6, 2016

Songs of Love

Sometimes in life we meet some people who leave their footprints on the sands of time, along the shores of our soul. I knew it was true the moment I looked in his eyes. He got this pair of expressive eyes, it is one of those eyes that tell thousands of stories. I hope to read those too :(

Meet Him:

I first met him at the office we were on training for a product update. (I cannot name it). I remember him wearing his long 1970's print polo (not really vintage, just the print), it's gray. He was quite but he got my attention. He stands very tough though he is skinny haha! We introduced ourselves to the group but I wasn't able to grasp his name then, my team mate was busy talking to me. From then on, I became his stalker! wOW big word not really just simple glimpse here and there..

"Call me obsessed, but I need to know your name
Your age, your address and where in the world you came from
It’s silly to think that I’m on the brink
Of falling right off my rocker 

Oh, I want to know
All about your mom and your favorite song
And why you hypnotize me
Well, I tell you what
I’m the definition of obsessive-compulsive, crazy love "

-Mindy Gledhill Crazy Love

I am not sure if he mean to get my attention too or its just my mind playing games with me but I would always caught him looking at me while I am taking in calls. One day I passed  by his station- this time we are both acquainted with each other. It was Friday- he grabbed my hands - I was wearing a royal blue maxi and its low back so when he took my arm the side of my dress fell off and had to grab it. He looked at me and he said, "Goodbye" and I was like-" Why are you saying goodbye?". He did something bad at work and he feared that he will be terminated. I thank God he did that coz that where everything started. 
We became friends in an instant. Smoke buddy, aux buddy (aux-in BPO industry that break time). I cannot forget the time we had a smoke break with one of his team mate. While walking on the street he suddenly grabbed my hand like he wants to hold it- unfortunately were in public and everybody knew me. So I cant have that sweet moment with him. Sad :( but honesstly I wish we did. 
Oh, I want to know
If you ever plan to hold my hand
And why you hypnotize me
Well, I tell you what
I’m the definition of
Obsessive-compulsive crazy love
He started asking for my number. Oh yes you did!! (Im talking to him). It was December 26. I received a private message on my Facebook coming from him. Were friends in Facebook- I just cant recall wither its me or its him who sent the friend request. LOL. Everything happened so fast until New Years' eve.  He touched me and I touched him. I held his hand and somehow it didn’t matter where we were, or that we didn’t belong. Nothing mattered, just me and him. Though I didnt see any fire in his eyes then- I know I loved the feeling, the feeling of being with him. 
He became so cold after that though which makes me very sad. We went out a few times after that but it was nothing- boring! I thought-it was just a plain Holiday Affair nothing more.  Until one early morning 12:30AM I just sent him a message out of the blue he responded and told me he's out with friends. Without hesitation, I grabbed my bag and joined them. We had a couple of beers and other are drunk. One of the guy there who happened to be one of my acquaintance as well is with us. He said he likes me. I didn't have the courage to say No when he said he will be the one to send me home. (In my mind thou, I want HIM to accompany me). I was drunk and God forbid this other guy almost kidnapped me. Thank you Mr. taxi Driver.! I sent him a message and I fell asleep- When I woke up Im in front of the office! Wala!! Good thing I had friends around to have my phone charged. And so meet again- that day I feel so different. His eyes that used to be empty now looks longing. He looks sad. 
We’re as different as can be
I’ve noticed you’re remarkably relaxed
And I’m overly uptight
We balance out each other nicely 
It happened more often. We  even go to the beach together, meet his friends, meet my friends. I cannot deny the fact. I fell inlove with him. Well I was inlove with him already and I fell inlove with him more nad more everytime we were together.I could never forget the glow of his eyes. We touched and melted in each others arms. The shadows of the night danced in ecstasy. We were there, two souls fusing into one. The moment held still as our worlds crashed down. 
Sometimes its amazing, how some things which are not supposed to exist, appear out of thin air right there in our faces, looking into our eyes. How something which is supposed to be wrong and bad, could feel so right and true.
So I cross my heart and I hope to die
That I'll only stay with you one more night
And I know I said it a million times
But I'll only stay with you one more night

Try to tell you "no" but my body keeps on telling you "yes".
Try to tell you "stop", but your lipstick got me so out of breath.
I'll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself.
And I'll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell.
-One More Night by Maroon 5

I know he needed me then because he just broke up with his girl. It was funny how everything seems to be so perfect yet so unreal. Felt so right and everything seems fine but I know one day he'll be gome for good. That type of love that no future holds you. 
Some things which feel so right, doesn’t necessarily belong to us. Souls can’t be captured, just as spirits can’t be held within. Love is pure love is true, and when there’s love nothing matters. And the best part is that it doesn’t even require a happy ending, because there never is an ending to it. I wish. I was willing to stay.. to love him and be there for him..even if things are so complicated but I know he won't. sad truth, He does not love me- or I don"t know he never said he does. I would like to know thou.
He loves her. I hate her. I hate her because he loves her. I wonder if he would ever love me if we met earlier that we did. If he met me first. Would he ever say I love you to me?? Will we have a chance together?? All I have now is his friendship and I want to keep that because I want to keep him with me. even though he doesn't care about me as much as I to him, its fine. When you love you should not expect anything in return right??
Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay - Stay by Sugarland
But whenever he is with her I cannot hide the fact that I am jealous. That I am hurt!.I would just  pretend as if I hear nothing at all... but my eyes just can't hide the pain, my tears just flow down through my cheeks.. I wished he wad beside me.

I cry at night, questioning my commitments, questioning my faith, questioning my very existence. Did I exist in this world? A world without him? Or did I live in the moment which lasted for an eternity, which had nothing in it but us, which had everything in it. 

My questions never found an answer, because the truth remained, no matter what I did to deny what I felt or what happened, that moment told me what I never realized – that I am alive.

In a four months he upturned my life. Everything became topsy -turvy. Still it felt so right. I looked at his eyes. And I saw regret. It killed me from inside because all I could feel , was him. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He seemed heavenly bathed in the moonlight. Glowing in purity reflected in itself. I wanted to tell him how he blew life into me. But all I wanted to say, melted away in tears...
I dont know how to end this, Ill just leave a message for you instead.
FOR YOU:
You know how much I care about you, no how much I love you. Sometimes I feel that you dont care about me at all but it's Ok. Thank you for making me feel special, thank you for making me feel young and free. I consider you not just a friend but a best friend. I wish we were more than that thou. i am happy for what we are and for all the time we are together. I could not and will never excahnge those to anything else. I'm sorry if at times I am really emotional- and I get so emotional more often now. i hope you understand. Please don't leave. Don't leave me - I love you and I will alwys be here for you. I wish you happiness wither it means its going to be my loss. 
P.S I'll stick around until you'll say I have to go.
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
-Lucky by Colby and Jason Mraz

6 comments:

  1. This is for you :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love reading this. You have great skills continue writing! great job! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Followed. Nice one.

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Hi!

you have a very nice blog.. love those pictures... take care.. xoxo

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